Tuesday, October 25, 2016
Tuesday, June 21, 2016
Okay, so here is the story. I post a picture of some dump twunt on 6th that damn near rear ended me as I was getting onto the highway. And you all know how it usually goes, almost everybody writes me and says "Yeah, the same stuff happened to me," or "I hear ya, people in this town can't drive." Same 'ol, same 'ol. But this one guy writes in and is blaming me. Now, right out of the gate I can tell this guy has a minimal education at best, so I'm not to rough on him, but then he keeps writing back and writing back and well.....
Because I don't like to use names, we'll just call this individual Triple Douche Canoe.
Him: "Jeez, troll with an old picture. Of him displaying bad driving skills"
Me: "You no speaka da English very good, do you?"
Him: "I speaka da English berry well. You no driva good and blame everyone elsa eh?"
Me: "Yo intelligence level about as good as your English level, not very good."
Him: "yo, intelligence level is way higher than the moron complaining about other drivers, when he is the problem. And to stupid to know hes making a fool out of himself. Yo"
Me: "Are you still coming at me with this weak English bullshit, yo? I'm surprised you even have the intelligence level to drool all over yourself. I bet you're going to try and tell me next that you are "um, are Edemicated." Fucking pathetic! And who the fuck uses "yo" in a sentence. A fucking retard, that's who. Sorry I didn't write sooner, I was off having a blast over the holiday, you knowing, living a life."
Him: "yo keep posting pics of you not knowing how to drive yo ya fucking dumbass"
Me: "Will do. Oh, by the way, I exceeded my hits for the month, that means a bonus for me. Thanks again for making me some money! ROFL! Ya yo monkey."
Him: "No hits from me. Lmfao. I completely believe you about the hits though. People love to see assholes make fools of themselves. That's bank!"
Me: "Sure the fuck is! And I love posting morons drivers in the Denver area on YouTube. Goddamn this town has some pretty fucking dumb people living in it. I'm native, yo, but the influx of people in this state are either born retards or are retarded as a result of incest...but hey, makes me money on the internet. ROFL!"
Him: "Yo. Native doesn't matter. Your proof of that. I'm native and see dumbass drivers like you several times a day yo"
Me: "I doubt you have the mental capability to drive, lets be honest here, your English skills are proof of that. And I am an awesome driver, driving is also my job. Not one ticket since I was 22 and I'm 46 now."
Him: "More brain power than you will ever posses. Prof is in your rambling crap about all the other drivers. You suck and mis state the laws. Your a liar to boot."
Me: "Man you are still coming back for more? I would have thought the previous dozen times I handed your ass to you would have made you give up? Kudos to you, sir. FYI, this conversation will be appearing in its entirety on my blog, so watch for it. Having said that, this will probably be the last time we correspond. You see I have a family and don't have the luxury of sitting in my mom's basement all day and harassing people on Craigslist, like you do. I have a small business to run, a family to provide for, and, as you know, a video blog to maintain. As for your latest gibberish I don't "mis[sic] " state laws...I'm not even sure what that means. Just another example of how well you understand the English language, I guess. Keep those hits coming on my blog though, Daddy needs to get paid, boo-ya! ROFL!"
Him: "You don't own shit. I looked at your lame blog years ago. It was so boring. Just full of you dumb rambling and horrible driving. Would never go look again, as there can be nothing new or entertaining. Your to stupid to be good at anything, so your business must be delivering news papers."
But hey, who I am to complain? I have been getting unbelievable hits on this blog. Thanks, Triple Douche Taco.